via Daily Prompt: Pretend

 

So much time spent

Pretending

Coating my words with sad indifference, and

Nodding my head with glazed gray eyes, as

You had another lover, but

You were my friend

 

I pretended it didn’t matter

Sometimes that only made me sadder.

 

So many days wasted

Waiting

My ears perking up every time you breathed my name

Smile drooping down when I heard her name

I contented myself with shining hopes, that

Someday you’d see your best friend in new light

 

I subsisted on dreams and fantasies

My smile disguising lonely pleas.

 

All summer idled

Distracting

Myself; Lending my heart to another,

Shoving away my sorry plans

He gave me the affection, but

It was dim as the moon

 

When comparing to the sun,

Even stars appear humdrum.

 

Another year began

Wishfully

You finally let her go!

And in the night you kissed me like in my wildest dreams

For a moment you were mine, and

It’s forever in my mind

 

But only for a second was my dream reality—

Now you say it was a mistake, we were never meant to be.

 

 

Today I start

Pretending again

Smothering the hurt I feel, quenching the fire of frustration

Hiding the tears of a wish extinguished

You don’t like me—

Sad and simple as that.

 

The mask returns, the plastic face is back

I’ll cast away the memory and become an amnesiac.

Love is transient; I’ll forget it, I suppose

Nothing more to do now than turn feelings into prose.

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