So much time spent
Coating my words with sad indifference, and
Nodding my head with glazed gray eyes, as
You had another lover, but
You were my friend
I pretended it didn’t matter
Sometimes that only made me sadder.
So many days wasted
My ears perking up every time you breathed my name
Smile drooping down when I heard her name
I contented myself with shining hopes, that
Someday you’d see your best friend in new light
I subsisted on dreams and fantasies
My smile disguising lonely pleas.
All summer idled
Myself; Lending my heart to another,
Shoving away my sorry plans
He gave me the affection, but
It was dim as the moon
When comparing to the sun,
Even stars appear humdrum.
Another year began
You finally let her go!
And in the night you kissed me like in my wildest dreams
For a moment you were mine, and
It’s forever in my mind
But only for a second was my dream reality—
Now you say it was a mistake, we were never meant to be.
Today I start
Smothering the hurt I feel, quenching the fire of frustration
Hiding the tears of a wish extinguished
You don’t like me—
Sad and simple as that.
The mask returns, the plastic face is back
I’ll cast away the memory and become an amnesiac.
Love is transient; I’ll forget it, I suppose
Nothing more to do now than turn feelings into prose.